I’m not sure how to describe this game. Actually wait, that’s a lie. I know exactly how to describe it, and I’ll proceed to do so over the next 400 words or so otherwise I won’t be living up to my obligations, both artistically and contractually. But perhaps the old adage of not needing to use four words where you can just use one would be quite appropriate here. This game is…mental.
You play as either Mitt Romney (Mitt…Mitt?! I love American names. Perhaps he’s related to Danny Glover) or some guy called Barrack Obama in an Infinity Blade style slugfest for control of the White House. You read that right, Chair Entertainment has blessed us with a game featuring a presidential candidate and the actual president of the United States who attempt to fight each other. Can you find another word apart from ‘mental’ to describe this scenario?
So if you’ve played Infinity Blade, you’ll know what to expect here, because it’s an identical set up. Apart from, you know…the actual President of the United States bit.
Where Infinity Blade was gritty, dealing deathblows with all manner of rusty weaponry, Vote!!! is strictly over the top with ammunition including microphones, ice cream cones, lightsabers and something called the Balloon of Justice. I think that’s what successful candidates get presented with when they’re sworn in to office.
The swipes to attack (‘debate’), parry (‘rebuttal’) and block (er…’block’) are all the same, but of course are renamed with a political theme because ‘Attack Barrack Obama’ as an App Store description would probably set alarm bells ringing at the CIA Counter-terrorist Headquarters. They monitor everything you know. Which makes me think I should edit that last sentence.
Big heads rule the day, with each candidate a caricature of themselves. Graphics are large, bold and sharp. The costumes and accessories you can outfit each character with exaggerate the madness of it all and some are truly hilarious. Check out that screenshot of Obama wearing crazy shades while assaulting Romney with a sausage on a fork. Ever wanted to see what Obama looks like in a Superman outfit? No actually, me neither. But for a hefty dose of in-game currency, you can find out, as well as slapping a sweet Moustache on Romney, and just plain old slapping Romney for that matter. I’m starting to wonder if these guys really did lend their names to this game, or if it’s a stunt by some US computer geek who managed to bypass the Apple approval process. This could only happen in 2012.
Although it plays like Infinity Blade, it doesn’t seem to be as responsive, with multiple swipes failing to register (I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere). There were a couple of times playing as Barrack that I should’ve taken the ice cream cone to Romney’s face, but instead he managed to beat me down with an oversized foam hand. I can’t believe I just wrote that.
Still, it’s all good fun, and bonkers while it lasts. It even has real life links which enable you to vote – although the horror of people impulsively casting actual votes based on the fact they just smashed Obama’s head in with a plastic banana doesn’t bear thinking about (or perhaps they’ve hit on something here and this is the way the real voting system should work after all).
The game doesn’t have enough depth to keep you coming back for long, but I’d love to see where it could go. I mean, why not roll out Abe Lincoln (What-up Abe?), my man John F, or Thomas ‘Jigga’ Jefferson and make a franchise of it? At least give us a couple more former US presidents in an update, the concept is too funny to end it here. Off the back of this, gamers everywhere will be desperate to see past Presidents go at it. Heck, Chair might as well throw in some other World Leaders, have me review the update, and get every national security agency in the world on my back. I’m game for a laugh.
And I’d love to think that in the White House, Barrack Obama has just snuck out of an important meeting claiming he needed to use the bathroom, only to whip out his iPhone and proceed to bash Romney about the face with a copy of the constitution. God bless America.
The CIA are now following Kevin on Twitter. You can too @dreagleg
Vote!!! is available now for free on iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch. Get it now on the