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The End Escape Review

End Game

This game’s actual title is 2012 The End Escape. That 2012 isn’t just there to make the game sound cool though, it’s is all about the End of The World, which, if you know anything about End of The World theory, is meant to happen in…58 days.

There’s a countdown in the top corner of the title screen which tells you how long you have to go before the end of the year. I have no idea what will happen when it reaches zero, perhaps your head will explode.

So you, playing as ‘car’ must escape the Armageddon. ‘No chance’ I hear you say. Well yes, but this is video game world where anything can happen so an Armageddon-escaping car isn’t out of the question. Hush.

It’s a top-down racer where you tilt to steer, avoiding the meteors (in a jalopy? Ha!), craters in the highway, other speeding cars which are attempting to escape, and UFO’s. So not only is the world ending, but we’ve got extraterrestrial visitors too. They’re a little late to see anything of note, I think.

Controls are intuitive, but overly sensitive. What you think is an appropriate level of tilt to steer round a truck actually slams you into a wall on the other side of the screen. There are some cool vehicles with special powers on offer though, and hitting the boost button to thrust past all manner of obstacles does indeed hold some merit.

Unfortunately the presentation suffers from poor translation. Now I usually have a high tolerance for translation errors due to the fact that producing a game in perfect English can’t be easy for foreign developers. As I always say, if any of us tried to translate our bedroom iOS masterpiece to Cantonese  I’m sure there would be a few loose ends, but sentences such as ‘Accomplice of the end. Keen to destruction’, and ‘Rear-end crash will make damage to you’ leave you scratching your head . I’d also love to know why if this is the apocalypse, are you the only driver who seems even remotely concerned with getting the heck out of dodge. All the other vehicles look like they’re taking family trips to the beach. And wherever we are in the world,  everyone seems to have bought the same car to the party. Vehicle models repeat way too much.

The thing that saves it from being just another App Store title passed by (which it might be anyway), is the rather lovely graphics. They’re cell-shaded you see. And whenever graphics are cell-shaded, they’re automatically good. But seriously, when you see the game in action you wonder if there’s a much better game in there struggling to get out (there isn’t). The explosions and nitro effects are cool,  the cartoon style is…stylish and the range of vehicles also makes things interesting, so it certainly gets things right in the looks department. As we know, whether you’re dealing with cars, women or video games, looks matter.

Alas the graphics are really the only thing that saves this thing from scoring much lower. Well, that and the fact that it for a while maybe, it isn’t actually all that bad to play.  You’ll probably have enough fun maneuvering your vehicle through exploding trucks to give it another go. But there are apparently only 58 days left till the world ends anyway, so either way you slice it, you won’t be playing for long.

Follow Kevin on Twitter. You’ve got 57 days. @KevThePen

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The End Escape is available now for free on  iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch. Get it now from the 2012 The End Escape - UltraVires

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