Eminem Relapse is a game made to promote the new album by Eminem, named Relapse. Usually we talk about substandard games when it comes to movie licenses, but this music tie in is the worst piece of cr#p ever.
I don’t know where to start really as I am in shcok at how Shady Games can demand any money for Eminem Relapse. Eminem Relapse is a side scrolling 2-d beat em up in the vein of Final Fight. You control Eminem by touch controls; left, right, jump and attack buttons. Why jump is included I can’t understand as there is nothing to jump over, and as far as I can tell no jump attack.
The attack button lets you use your standard punch or when available a gun or assault rifle. There is one animation when you attack, one. Enemies are zombies, and I have never met such a brain-dead bunch of brain-dead zombies. They just walk towards you, and if you punch them they die after you have punched them with your one animation three times.
The graphics are horrible, the worst I have seen for the iPhone so far. The entire game stutters forward when you walk even though there aren’t any enemies on screen. You might presume that the sound should be good; heck it is promoting the first Eminem album in four years. There is no Eminem music, and the wannabe Resident Evil sounds inserted instead are horrible.
Dudes, we need a lower score than half a star or at least being able to hand out an award for worst game of the year. Eminem Relapse has nothing good to offer, not even a high score list after you beat it. I have included the final of the two scenes just to make sure you don’t buy this. The story is an unsuccessful take on Max Payne and the original Postal. At the end says to be continued but I really hope not, just let it die now.
I actually had to listen to the Relapse album to find out if it was as bad as the game. Thankfully the album is good if you are into Eminem or Dr Dre produced stuff.
I hereby nominate Eminem Relapse for the title of worst iPhone game of 2009.