Battle Bears review

God I hated the Care Bears when growing up. Those cute looking, rainbow coloured, hairy hell spawn, with a dead look in their eyes still haunt my dreams to this day. Oh how I wish I could exact my revenge on their fury assess, for their 20 minute take over of my beloved saturday morning television when I was a kid.

Well, now Battle Bears allows you to do just that. Based on an upcoming animated film, the game sees you play as Oliver, a talking cuddly bear soldier, who after stealing some mystical treasures is on the run from a horde of cute, fun loving, girly bears. Unfortunately for Oliver he crashes a pair of stolen unicorns and is stuck behind enemy lines. If he can’t escape he’ll be HUGGED TO DEATH.

bb1Armed with various weapons, including unicorn horns, a bazooka and and an assault rifle, you must survive wave after wave of happily skipping bears and avoid their clutches.

Presentation and graphics

The story for Battle bears is hilarious, I don’t want to reveal anymore of it here, but it’s one of the main reasons I kept on through the levels. These story scenes are presented in 2D animatic style storyboards, featuring full voice over work. Surprisingly the in game graphics feature full 3D and look great. The bears animate well, skipping towards you, and if you shoot their heads off a ray of rainbow will spring format their necks…. great stuff! I particularly like the way the environment changes from blue skies and lush grassy hills, to grey apocalyptic skies and war torn landscapes.


bb2I love the music in this game. Not sure if it’s royalty free or created specifically, but it fits the game perfectly. The best thing though is Voice work, which is hilarious.


The controls work very well, with you moving your weapon reticule by dragging a finger on the screen and tapping to shoot with another… there are also some cool weapons including a bazooka that files severed bear arms and a megaphone that shouts expletives at the bears to stop them in their tracks. However, the gameplay itself gets repetitive very quickly, and if it wasn’t for the story line pushing me to find out more, I wouldn’t have continued past the first few levels.


There needs to be far more variety in the enemies. Apart from a few faster gold bears and a giant bear that I only saw once, the initial reaction to the skipping bears soon fades to a dull memory. Complete the game and you unlock an unlimited survival mode, but after surviving the story mode you’ll have had enough of wiping the smiles off the bears faces… as cutely evil as they are!



Battle Bears is wonderfully presented in both story and graphics. It’s just a shame more thought wasn’t put into the levels and gameplay itself. As a budget game though, you’ll forgive it for it’s shortcomings, and it is easily worth the $0.99 just for the initial play through.

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  • Silent Rocco

    Loved this game.
    After you finish it, there is nothing left.
    But the way to the end is FANTASTIC.
    Really enjoyed every second!
    Very funny.

  • Rock $ Rolla

    Not bad


    does look quite funny.

  • Nathan Mustafa, USA

    reminds me of conker

  • jeffyg3

    Much more like Raze’s Hell on the original Xbox…that was a damn good game

  • dk

    game is about as immature as the people who make it…..skyvu is a bad company… is deceptive….sly…and will flat out lie….theyre in it for the money and ego…dont give them a penny